My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
