new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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