As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
