Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
i believe in u and ur pee
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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