stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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