In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
