I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize