garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
