Where is the hickey?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Every concussion has its silver lining
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
