I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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