hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
