I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
