I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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