Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
