new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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