xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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