If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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