Who did Billy Mays play for?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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