oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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