Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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