he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs