8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her