we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...