awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
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You insisted on take shots off of plates.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
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Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.