i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Not as such, no.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
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You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
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I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already