plz talk dirty to me
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
