i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
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she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
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Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS