You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
