u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Help. Why am I so naked?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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