Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
