how hairy? two words: wookie tits
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I FOUND THE LEGS
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
The adults are the big ones right?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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