We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
