What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
My feet surprised me
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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