fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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