perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
