I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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