You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
