My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
