Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
