You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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