I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
birth control should be required to get into college
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
