Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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