sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
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I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
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My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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