We're facebook friends in real life
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
