So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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