Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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