Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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