please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
