If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
seriously i just wanna be friends
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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