Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
