Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize