If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
We're too hungover to prance.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
