I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
