we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
