I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize
