Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
my poor anus
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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