Midget sex pt 2 tonight
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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