It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Drake has all the answers
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
