i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
