ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
