dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
