if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
