I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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