dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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