I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
