i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
