Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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