I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
