Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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