Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
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there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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