I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
