Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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