There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
